5. Take responsibility
We tend to complain to people who can’t do anything about it. If I am having trouble with my marriage, whom do I complain to? The boys down the pub. If I am having trouble with my boss, whom do I complain to? The lads at work. Not to the person who can do something about it. I want you to stop complaining because it weakens you and everyone around you just like in the arm exercise. If you want to complain, do it to someone who can do something about it.
No one here is a victim because you all have choices and time to make decisions about your career. So don’t act like a victim. The starving in Africa are real victims. People who were murdered in Cambodia were real victims. You are not a victim unless you want to be one. If that is the case, you are not really a victim but just mistaken.
One more rule about complaining, in order to complain, you must know there is something better out there. Get rid of contaminating people. Those around you who always focus on the negative – who take your dreams and tell you why you can’t achieve them. Those who physically weaken you, just like in the arm exercise.
I sat on a train the other day. The one at 7.04am for London had been delayed. Instead, there was a faster train at 7.12am – it would get to London quicker anyway. It was a better train than usual (warmer, quieter) and everyone (unusually) had a seat. Then I heard the lady behind me on the phone. She said, “I have had an awful morning. The 7.04 was delayed, the train is packed, and they didn’t have my paper at the shop”. This went on for about 5 minutes. I sat there and thought, “Thank goodness I am not on the other end of that phone. Would I ever employ that person?” She had not only made herself feel bad, also the other person on the phone, and taken anyone around her down with her. Now I am not talking wacky American everything is great! What I am saying, if your glass is half-full (it only has to be half-full), and you reflect that to others, then they will want to be around you!