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For so much of our lives we do what is right according to other people. Parents push us down a certain educational path. Early peers tell us what is cool to do and what is not. TV shows provide exaggerated pictures of certain careers. Career services and teachers/tutors do their best for us based on limited knowledge. Marketing companies inform us of the features and benefits of different careers. Even the Government tries to influence through funding. These and numerous other well-intentioned people are always telling us what to do. Then we reach that age of family and mortgage, similar influences become involved in telling us to play safe. Well, are all these influences really on your side? No matter what your religious beliefs, you do not come back in the same shape and form. So you may as well get on with doing what you really want to do.
The bit you may not like. People generally look after their self-esteem first. Our benchmark for how well we are doing is usually other people that we know. If you and I both go for the same job and you get it, how has that affected my self-esteem? Well it has made me feel worse because compared to you I now feel less good about myself. It is in the interest of my self-esteem or self-confidence that you do not do as well in life as I have. That’s why we ‘keep up with the joneses’ and why the ‘grass is greener’ on the other side. Of course, close family and good friends do not measure themselves against you, but you can usually count these people on one hand. It’s all the others in this world who do. “Think about your mortgage”, “Aren’t your kids still in school?” “Won’t that mean longer hours?” “Are you sure you can do that role?” “What about the travelling?”
Would it be useful to find out what we really want? Well, the conscious mind (the one you operate with most of the day) takes account of other factors – your family influences, finances, politics in the business, risk aversion and all the other rational factors. On the other hand, your subconscious mind allows you to understand your true thoughts and feelings. When you are daydreaming, it is your subconscious in operation. And it is the uncluttered subconscious we should use.
This will not work for all, but it will work for the majority. To find what you really want, try the following exercise. Only do this when you are in your relaxed place (bath, bed, hot tub, train on your commute, or wherever), and certainly not when you need to be alert. Closing your eyes whilst driving, for example, is not a great thing to do (unless you live in Brighton).
Get yourself relaxed, close your eyes and begin to think of a job/role you might like to pursue. Then:
- Begin to get a picture of that role as if it is happening right now, and:
- If you are not in the picture, put yourself in there.
- If the picture is still then make it move at normal speed.
- If the picture is black and white, make it colour.
- If the picture is distant, bring it closer.
- If the picture is hazy then sharpen it.
- Once you have the picture just right, now get the sounds as real as possible, and:
- If the volume is down, turn it up.
- If the sounds are muffled, sharpen them.
- If the sounds feel distant, bring them closer.
- Finally, feel how it feels to be there. Slowly begin to intensify those feelings until they are as intense as they can be.
- Now, a number of things might have happened assuming you were relaxed enough to get to the subconscious. The mind will let you know how comfortable it really was with what you were thinking. Your mind cannot tell the difference between real and vividly pictured events. That’s why horror films scare you. Use the following table to help you define the outcomes. For those that just do not picture, use the sounds and feelings only.
|Possibly not right for you||Needs some adjusting||Might be the vision for you||Rationale|
|Pictures||The pictures were in slow motion/wouldn’t move or jolted along/stayed black and white.||Pictures moved smoothly. Might not have got all detail but got most||It was like being there – it looked so real. Things were added to the picture even though I was not telling them to be added.||Your mind will provide a clear picture if it believes what you want it to see. Ever heard anyone saying, “I can’t see myself doing that.” Well, they literally can’t. The more clear the picture, the closer you are to deep-rooted desires.|
|Or, you couldn’t see yourself.|
|Or, there was no detail in the environment|
|Sounds||Couldn’t really hear anything||Heard myself or the noise of the activity quite well but couldn’t quite hear all the sounds||Could pick up on all the sounds crystal clear. It was almost real||As above but with auditory. The mind will hear sounds it likes even if it has not heard them before!|
|Or, sounds were muffled or distorted|
|Feelings||No real feelings. Felt OK. A bit worrying – didn’t like it.||Felt good but not very good.||Overwhelming feelings of joy or nervousness (positive excitement). Want to feel like that all the time.||This is the clincher. You will know when you are there because of the overwhelming feelings you will get in terms of excitement, and job satisfaction. Sometimes it may be as simple as a feeling of peace!|
- It wasn’t right? Well, try other possibilities. Be lateral in your thought patterns. You now have a process so keep going – it’s a process of deduction! It is like playing ‘hotter’ and ‘colder’ when you were a child looking for the hidden treasure your parents placed as a treat for you.
- It needs some adjusting? Then adjust it. Play with the settings – departments, variations of the role, bosses, and so on. You will know when you are there!
- It was right? Well done. You now have a vision so keep it. Play it over and over again until you become so hungry for it, you can taste it. Now because you are consciously looking for it, in the millions of bits of information you sense each day, you will begin to find the path you really want. You will find the right information for that career goal.
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